Dear diary,

Argh. The monotony of my life has hit me like a persevering low, droning note that never seems to trail off. In all contrasted starkness, life around me never seems to stop pulsating, a heady bass that keeps in chime with its erratic staccato. I feel like I'm in some freeze-frame or something. Weird.

Not complaining really. Just wished there were more things to do. Actually, make that just things that are effortless enough for me to want to do. And, inexpensive. Like walking the dog, or going window shopping. Problem is I don't have a dog, I used to, but that's a long story. Window shopping? Bah. That's for girls. So I came to the conclusion that the cheapest way to keep me entertained and satisfied was to be a computer geek. It's easy. You just spend all ur conscious hours logged on to the computer and you: Blogsurf -chat-.Check e-mail -chat-. Check ebay -chat-. Download mp3s -chat-. Play online games -chat-. Get name translated into Jap -chat-. Check latest hollywood gossip -chat-. That'll probably take up most of the day. If it falls short, just repeat the process. Do it diligently and you'll get that fresh-from-the-grave gothic look that's so in vogue right now, complete with bloodshot eyes and sallow skin. Talk about getting ready for Halloween.

Then I thought about writing a novel. Realised it's tougher than it seems. A bestseller (probably)needs a good plot that has an infusion of love, humour and tragedy; 2 protaganists at least, mainly a plucky hunk with chiselled jaws and deepset eyes, a sassy babe with big boobs and legs that go on forever, some short wrinkled crippled old fart as their nemesis, and not forgetting the peppering of the pages with quotes and anecdotes from famous deceased people. Throw in controversial elements such as religious zealotry, gender discrimination and same-sex marriages for that extra oomph.

Ok, this post is starting to get wacky. Better do some damage control before my mental floodgates burst. -zip-